I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize