so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
