I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just want nice things and good sex
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
