I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
