I am puke
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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