This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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