I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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