Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
