if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
