Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
