dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
