I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
