Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
