I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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