i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
