is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Found the puke drawer
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
