I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
