she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
