i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
