**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
from now on my penis is your penis
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
