maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
