i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
