what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
