it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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