Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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