I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my being single is dangerous.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
