Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
