sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
