You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
