You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
