YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
