But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
