Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
