He asked to "fluff my boner.."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You took a bar mat shot.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
