i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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