Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
