people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
