I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
