"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
