matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
