there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize