yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
