dude i'm inner monologue high
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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