I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize