he wants to bone in the snuggie
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize