I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
