in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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