he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize