And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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