i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
