Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
