You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
