It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My vagina is officially offended.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
