Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
