I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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