If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
