So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
