You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
