I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
