I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
