it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
