White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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