tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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