Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
