i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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